Stop saying sorry and start being heard

The one habit that quietly and surprisingly undermines your presence and impact is over-apologising. If you find yourself saying sorry before sharing an idea or point of view or just before speaking, I have three simple ideas to help you step-by-step reduce the number of 'sorrys' you say in a day.

It’s very common and often done in a way to soften our presence, keep the peace or it's habit said without thought. However, constant apologising dilutes your message, makes you appear uncertain, and in the workplace suggests you are not fully owning or comfortable in your role.

First step is be aware, notice when you do it, pay attention to the context, is it in emails, work, or face to face in meetings or just certain people or places?

Ask yourself, are you saying “sorry” when you actually mean “excuse me,” “thank you,” or "let me think about that"? Keep a note of the times and the context and over time you will see a pattern. These insights will help you prepare not to say sorry, to check in with yourself beforehand.

Here are three sentence flips to ditch the habit: -

1. Instead of saying “Sorry for the delay.” Flip it to “thanks for your patience.”

2. Instead of “Sorry, can I ask a quick question?” Flip to “I’d like to ask a quick question.”

3. Instead of “Sorry, can I add…” Flip to “I’d like to add…”

Practise and your confidence will grow and apologising will reduce. It's not being rude or aggressive and of course, there are times for apologies. the good news is because you'll be saying sorry alot less when you do need to apologise, it will sound genuine and have more meaning. There are times when a heartfelt apology is needed, but when it's your default position, it is meaningless and sounds like you need permission or reassurance. It's never too late to finally make the change and break the habit.